You’re not “sensitive” you’re hormonal

If you know me in person you know I run in certain circles, and have interests which pertain to specific groups of people – namely, the “spiritual” crowd.  If you don’t know me in person, now you know this tiny little factoid about who I am.  I’ve been interested in the afterlife for as long as I can remember.  I’d had countless amounts of ‘experiences’ with the unknown long before I had the vocabulary to put a name to what those interactions were called.  They terrified me more than they intrigued me, and I found no pleasure or curiosity in what I was witnessing.  I wanted to be told someone knew what I was going through, and when it became clear no one did, I wanted only one thing; I wanted them to stop.

Even though I learned to close myself off from much of those unknowns (another story for another blog entry) I was unable to shake away the reason I was able to have them.  Some people call certain natural abilities “gifts”, but usually those are the people who don’t have to live with them day in and day out.  Having been raised in a fairly rigidly religious environment I didn’t exactly have the emotional support I really needed in my earliest of years to understand these experiences, and many were passed off as my “overactive imagination”. Let’s just say that Catholic School isn’t a very nurturing environment when you’re seeing and hearing dead people in your haunted house(s), and when you bring up the subject no one around you has any idea what you’re talking about – because it’s not a belief that’s tolerated in the church.   

For me, I feel things incredibly deeply, incredibly intensely, and seemingly, without bounds.  Learning why I have these propensities was probably one of the more eye opening revelations because I had never considered the spiritual aspect of my existence to be anything all that important.  Seems silly to say now, but really, all I considered important was living a good life, being good to others, obeying the commandments, going to church, living a positive life, and when I died I’d go to heaven.  I mean, that’s essentially the gist of a Catholic belief structure.  Be good. Follow the word of God. Die. Go to heaven.  Right?  

But what about all these dead people I was seeing and hearing?  Were they all ‘bad’ because they weren’t in heaven? I was seeing them and telling myself they were bad and scary, but not all of them ‘felt’ bad or scary.  Some did. But I can’t say that all did, and that always made me wonder.

When I started interacting with people who are known to be naturally spiritually gifted, and I started hearing the same general statements and questions from them repeatedly, I started to wonder … “what exactly does it mean to be intuitive & empathic, and how deep do these words actually run?”  Turns out they run pretty deeply, and they can have a significant affect on a person’s interactions with the world that most people have to dig deep to reach.  Later on, in my early 20’s, I learned I was born with a Pisces Moon which, by definition, explains a heck of a lot about what it means to live with all that I had struggled to understand to that point. Strictly in relation to this blog entry – Key words for those with a Pisces Moon are “Empath”, “Intuitive”, “Sensitive”, “Psychic”.  It’s a strong, constant, presence that cannot be quelled without consequence.  You can deny it a route to express itself, but you’ll spend the entire time doubting everything you feel innately right about who you are.  It’s, literally, sheer misery because you tell yourself to “reason” what is right, when your entire spiritual sense of self is screaming to understand … it’s the exact opposite.

This is why I’m writing this blog entry.  Because I mingle as anonymously as I can among the masses on the internet, looking to read and understand the life experiences of others who may share similar traits as me, and reading their stories sometimes helps put my own into perspective. And I can’t tell you how many times I find myself thinking “just because you don’t understand something doesn’t make it …” ‘paranormal', or doesn’t make you psychically gifted, or spiritually sensitive, or empathic, or intuitive, or anything along those lines.  I mean, it could.  Sometimes it’s clearer than others that, ‘yes, this person is onto something here’.  But I have to tell you, a lot of times it’s just another story of another person who doesn’t understand their own body, and how it’s supposed to work, and how it behaves when some biological process inside their body isn’t functioning properly.  And instead of investigating the merits of all of the possibilities that are ‘reasonable’ by provably scientific standards they literally jump directly to “I’m psychic” or “I’m sensitive” or “I’m empathic”.  

My favorite is a scenario that plays itself out, over and over again, probably close to 100 times a week.  One person posts it and then 99 people run up behind them to comment on it that the same ‘phenomena’ happens to them so this must be corroborating evidence that this experience is a part of the ‘gift’ they all share.  

It goes something like this:
Person A:  “I can’t sleep at night, and when I do get to sleep I wake up sweating and my heart is racing and it’s always somewhere around 3:00 in the morning and I can’t get back to sleep for hours…”  They then make comments along the lines of “something is awry in the world… I have this sense of foreboding I can’t shake…”  

Persons B thru Z: “I feel it too, I wake up around 3:00am and I’m so alert and in tune with the world I can’t get back to sleep.  It feels like something bad is going to to happen at any moment”.

Then Person A and Persons B thru Z all collude on the sentiment that it’s pure suffering to be such a strong and naturally gifted empath.  

And then I roll my eyes.  Why?  Because none of these delusional people want to hear “you need to go have your hormone levels checked, ASAP… your cortisol output is all screwed up.” Y’know?  “Hey, Person A.  Tell persons B thru Z to go get their hormone levels checked, and to keep a closer eye on what they’re putting into their bodies because they probably have some level of systemic inflammation which is causing havoc in the form of sleepless nights and adrenaline release at all the wrong times. K?”

No.  What they want to hear is “I know your struggle. It’s so hard being such a gifted and special empath that we can’t even get a good night’s sleep because the weight of the world cannot be kept from our delicate sensibilities".

Please.
You’re not gifted.
Your body is malfunctioning.
And you’re a tad bit narcissistic, as well.

All the legitimate empaths, intuitives, sensitives, and psychics didn’t tell you that because they know … you need to believe what you believe, and crushing your dream of being “special” isn’t their gig.

Whatever.  Be special.  In the meantime, go to your nearest Dr. or Naturopath and get down to business because your ‘special abilities’ are not what’s keeping you up at night.  

All said with “Love and Light”, of course.
Did I forget anything?
Oh. Right… Namaste.
That should do it.